Back in Dakar, for Better or for Worse

It's so incredibly bizarre to be back. (I got back Thursday night.)

I haven't written in two weeks because the internet connection to Bayakh went down two weekends ago. Something about the company resetting connections, I'm not entirely sure. While it was more than a little frustrating at times to be out of communicado with the world, my projects adviser in Dakar, everyone, I think now that it was an incredible blessing that I couldn't retreat to the comforts of my inbox during my last week in Bayakh. I had really adjusted to, and started to truly like, my life there. Over the last 12 days especially I became pretty good friends with a number of the 27 year-old high school teachers living in/hanging out around my house/building, which was a little like a one-floor dormitory, and it was so refreshing to have close, Senegalese friends -- that was perhaps the one part of my study abroad experience I had felt was particularly lacking. I became accustomed to everyone in the entire town knowing by name, in fact I found it a little comforting and fun. I liked my routine of lighting the gas burner every morning to heat water for a shower, eating over-cooked fried eggs with excessive amounts of onion salt, and seeing new villages every day. I liked the one, tiny neighborhood bar where I could buy a beer for a dollar and joke around with the locals. I enjoyed being led by my housemates down dirty back paths to sit on the beds of friends of friends and watch Wolof television, even when I felt unclear of who would shake my hand and greet me and who wouldn't feel comfortable touching me at all because I'm a woman. I liked going into Thies with my ex-Wolof teacher (now good friend) Matou last weekend to meet his family and explore the city. I liked sharing my thoughts on Senegalese culture on my own, with Senegalese people, and participating in the kind of cultural exchange that is fundamentally the point of moving abroad. When it came time to leave, I was really sad. And now, back in Dakar, I'm feeling like I ended an adventure and now am trying to go back to an old, less exciting (and now less comfortable, though not in a material sense) lifestyle. It's been great to see my friends, but I'm finding that I didn't really miss Dakar. Or maybe I did, but I don't have the time or energy to re-adjust and throw myself back into the city. I'm tired, especially since the last week I spent my nights talking to these teacher friends of mine rather than sleeping much, and my head is still completely in the project. I had thought that I would retreat onto the beach, or be stoked to shop more and be a tourist after an exhausting village stay, but I'm finding instead that the concept of consumerism grosses me out. I barely bought anything for almost three weeks, and the little I did buy was all food, drink, phone credit and tissues. It's weird knowing that there are still trinkets, souvenirs, gifts, various things left that I wanted to buy, but I have no enthusiasm now whatsoever to shop. I feel like I'm coming down from the most incredible adventure, on almost every level, and now I'm ready to retreat to a beach resort in Mbour and hear about what everyone else did for the past three weeks. I don't need or really want this extra week here, where I'm officially still in ISP Period but it feels so awkward and separate from my ISP experience. Of course I still have to write the paper and prepare my presentation, but I'm so far ahead of everybody else that I'm just not worried. (That's what happens when you go to a semi-isolated town... When your friends are at work teaching, you sit around all day and write your paper -- there's nothing else to do!)

Speaking of writing the paper though, I'm going to buckle down and do some work right now. Plan to update again on Wednesday, maybe with more details and descriptions from Bayakh, maybe with more of a synthesis of my project. Right now I'm still swimming in the cultural disjointedness I'm feeling, still being in Senegal but feeling like I needed to mentally close some doors almost in order to move on, and now I'm in something a little less exciting and challenging. As a highlight of what's to come though, I want to share that of all the people I spoke to about the work of USAID, in seven different villages, not one had negative things to say.

Crazy to believe that I'm leaving this country in less than two weeks. On the one hand I feel completely not ready. On the other hand, I don't know how any experience could be more challenging, more exciting, more stimulating then what I've just finished and what I'm now synthesizing, and maybe it's good to go out on such a huge bang... Anyway. On verra. (We'll see.)